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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29008992">Gothic Spirit</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/48eyesand32teeth1sharptongue/pseuds/48eyesand32teeth1sharptongue'>48eyesand32teeth1sharptongue</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman - All Media Types, Gotham (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abusive Relationships, Adopted Damian if I have him show up, Again, Angst, Bruce tries to be a good parent after making some very bad life decisions?, Drug and Alcohol Use, Gore, Harley!Bruce, M/M, The Joker is like Jerome Jeremiah Ledger &amp; Hamill smushed into one entity, Trans Bruce Wayne, WIP, bio kid jason, first chapter is setup, future tagging, idk what else to tag this, if you see this posted i screwed up trying to save it, stream of conciousness, there's a distinct lack of robin centric content in the first chapter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:21:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>696</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29008992</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/48eyesand32teeth1sharptongue/pseuds/48eyesand32teeth1sharptongue</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the first harlequin was never Harley at all.</p><p>(Alternately, in which the Robins teach Batman how to Batman again.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Gothic Spirit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So this is heavily inspired by one of Neyiea's fics and because I couldn't get the implications of Bruce having a quarter-life crisis out of my head and if Bruce became Batman after being Harlequinn first.... with the addition of all my usual headcanons thrown in there, which might also include Bruce gets hallucinations and stuff. (Basically, all my headcanons from my fic apply, but the inspiration of Harley! Bruce is heavily inspired by another fic.)</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, here's the setup since I'm lazy and don't feel like writing background for the timeline:</p><p>1. Alfred left Bruce after he had a breakdown over being a vigilante like in Gotham canon, but Bruce is an adult and like, idk 19 or 20 so adopting Dick at 23 doesn't get skewed too much. During Bruce's quarter-life crises, he starts dating the Joker, and while Bruce still doesn't kill anyone, soon finds himself in too deep in a life of crime that isn't quite vigilantism because he gets dependant on the Joker fast, and we all know the Joker is not a nice person, so it ain't, uh... chill. Also, everyone thinks Bruce Wayne is dead and doesn't realize the new partner of the Joker is Bruce, until Bruce gets his shit together and comes back before being Batman. (so... not that far from Batman Begins/Scott Snyder Zero Year comic setup.) The rest should be self-explanatory from the fic itself but just in case I was like I'm going to explain things that probably don't need explaining.</p><p>2. Somehow Jeremiah and Jerome are the same person, I'm not gonna worry about details use your imaginations, maybe Jeremiah is just the not-Joker persona while being incognito and Jerome is his intial pre-Joker persona, either way I've named him Jack b/c I like to use comic details and because it makes it less confusing for me. (Valeska and Napier are both aliases for last names).</p><p>3. Tbh the priority is how the heck does Bruce become Batman after all that, and also how does adopting his children and raising vigilantes work, but also the Joker takes the attempts to leave personally, which tbh isn't that much of a stretch with how canon is anyway. Also Alfred does come back eventually.</p><p>4. Do I know if Harley is showing up? Honestly idk if I'm even going to be able to write a thing I'm just doing my best.</p><p>5. The Joker movie probably happened as background info in this fic, idk, Arthur ain't that important for this fic but I'm gonna say it's background for Bruce's trauma.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Realizing he's gone completely off the deep end isn't exactly a revelation for Bruce.</p><p>No, he hasn't killed anyone.</p><p>Yes, he's come pretty close, and Jack doesn't help, always goading, always waiting for Bruce to take the plunge.</p><p>And honestly, he knows he made some very questionable decisions, if he's being honest with himself.</p><p>(He thinks his parents probably wouldn't be proud, if they could see them now.)</p><p>But Bruce tells himself he doesn't really have much else to lose.</p><p>All the money and power and fame in the world doesn't make you less lonely, or less lost.</p><p>At least when he's with Jack, he knows he's doing it for love.</p><p>(And love and hate and understanding, well, they aren't too different at the end of the day. Not when you hate yourself enough to barely give a damn, either way.)</p><p>When you don't have much left to cling to, you cling to anyone who claims to love you, whether you think you deserve it or not.</p><p>--</p><p>The first time Bruce realizes he should probably get out isn't when Jack hits him. (He's used to violence, especially on that front, and he can give as good as he gets, as far as he's concerned.)</p><p>(And some part of him knows he deserves it, for how he let himself break and fall and still keeps on falling.</p><p>Why else would he be left alone, would Alfred leave, would Selina, if Bruce truly were anything but a lost cause?)</p><p>Nor is it his increasing reliance on alcohol, or other highs.</p><p>No, the first time Bruce realizes he needs to get out is when the Joker has a gun to someone's head, and Bruce freezes, and yet he doesn't stop him, and doesn't look away.</p><p>(He quashes a lot of those realizes, the more and more he sees it.</p><p>He doesn't have anyone else, and no where to go, and even if he did, how could he ever come back from this?)</p><p>--</p><p>The last time Bruce realizes he needs to get out is when there's a kid involved, a kid whose parents died right in front of him in a circus act, with all eyes on him, watching, like vultures, and Bruce thinks: I can't let this hurt you, like I've already been scarred.</p><p>(It scares Bruce, how little he remembers of his old self, yet how the night of his parents murder stays clear as day. It scares him, how much seeing a child like him, in an environment like this, how he feels like he never moved on, how he can remember clinging to his idealisms like they never left him, even when he can't claim to be a good man.)</p><p>He can't let someone he thinks he loves hurt someone young and innocent and who doesn't deserve this.</p><p>Bruce might not be able to save anyone. Bruce might not even know how to, anymore, or if he has a right to, after everything he's done.</p><p>But he wants to try.</p><p>Even if he doesn't know if that is enough, for the boy in front of him, who doesn't know how to leave the streets well enough alone.</p><p>--</p><p>The Joker, however, doesn't take kindly to Bruce leaving. No one leaves him. </p><p>Not when they had so much to do, and Bruce promised-</p><p>--</p><p>It was not always like this.</p><p>Bruce used to know who he was.</p><p>Bruce used to know what he stood for.</p><p>Then again, isn't that how it always happens?</p><p>You think you are so certain of who and what you are, and then life breaks you, and you wonder, if everything you told yourself about what you believed in really mattered, after all...?</p><p>--</p><p>It's only years later, that Bruce- Batman- tracks Harley Quinn down (the newest one), and tries to make her see how they both went wrong.</p><p>(It's only then, when he explains, everyone should have a chance to get better, that Harley and the others in Arkham don't have to be like this, that he realizes why he needs to help them heal and move on, and why his bloody knuckles and need to dispense justice aren't quite turned on only his enemies.)</p>
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